Ok this may or may not come out poetically, most likely wont. I just want to express myself in a way that wasn’t writing a song, and I hadn’t wrote a blog in a while so, here I go.

For the past ever so long I’ve been consumed by a succubus of sorts. I just can’t get her out of my head, and the more she does me wrong the more I fall for her, im just falling down. I need a kick in face, a splash of water just to snap me out of it, but I just can’t. She’s perfect for me, even if im not perfect for her. And that’s one of the many things I just don’t get, what is the point in unrequited love? If someone’s so perfect for you why does it have to be one sided? I mean if you do believe in true love and all that jazz isn’t it meant to be you find your soul mate and they find you or some shit? But maybe its not love, its just me being pathetic and just trying to latch onto anything I can, it just happens that she was there at the right moment in time and my heart was deemed useless forever. I suppose this just leaves me with an ultimatum do I just waste my time and stare at her and wait for her to “change her mind” or do I grow up and just move on? It’s a hard choice.

Oh and Sophie, sorry about all the big words

Yep I have had deviant for a whole year and what have I got to show for my hard work and efforts 617 views. I may sound particularly vain and such un-pleasantry’s, but really? Never mind on the bright side I did bring some great artists to DA (yes Eleanor im looking at you.) I don’t know why I spend so much time on DA, to be perfectly honest I never get comments but I guess its just the moral achievement you get from it the fact that I could post a picture that’s a piece of shit that I edited with a online photo editor, and a kid on the other side of the planet can enjoy it. Even if that hasn’t happened to me, it still gives me a happy feeling,

So what for the next year of mediocre writing and appalling photo’s? Well im going to try and do more writing and improve on my photography, I think my main problem is that I hate myself so much, so taking crappy picture isn’t much of a confidence booster. Also puberty hasn’t really helped hence why I have not uploaded many pictures recently, because it’s a bastard spending two hours of life deleting spots from my pixelized face on Photoshop.

I guess if any one was reading this they would have given up by now, I don’t blame them, this is just a midnight dribble from a satirical 14 year old, yeah what the fuck is up with that? But anyways if anyone is still with me, say AMEN. If not, go fuck yourself in a shed filled with herpies and dye in a freak yachting accident.

I wish I could better myself as an artist and as a person, but that sounds like a challenge, I’d prefer to be boring. So what is a boring person doing at two in morning in the summer? writing a blog.

I have somewhat neglected the good 'ol journal. No entry since januray! So what have I been up to for 5 months then? Well, I finaly got what I wanted and realised what I wanted was not what I needed. What else. Oh yes! Im getting more and more unpopular Everyone seems to want to kill me for some reason theese days. Nevermind

However, my band are recording an EP over the summer holiday. Woop. Can i put anyone down for a preorder

x

one day Ben fancied doing his blog/journal in 3rd person.

Ben now has a girlfriend who he loves very much but is having diffuculties shaking off prevous "people" but hopes this lasts forever.

He enjoys sleeping, using big words, eating skittles, playing his numerous instruments and writting about how much of a fag he is. He tends to rule old school but could make exeptions ()

He has allso devolped a fetish for fruit pastals. yes fruit pastals... not that He has sexy with them but you know what he means.

When not on DA he could be jamming with many of his good friends! [link] <--- for more properganda. It would be a fair comment to make that he has alot of feelings but then again its just a product of adolecences.

He allso needs to lear how to spell

ciao x

well with everyone good thing a fucking cavalry of BULL SHIT

well you know theres allways one little fucker isnt there?

why is everyone so fucking egotistic? well just go die (Y) k thnx and gtfo bi